Thursday, October 28, 2010

It's a girl.

I really thought it was a boy- probably because I really wanted a boy. But it wasn't, there they were, girl parts.

I cried, tears poured down my face as I saw this little forming body in front of my very eyes, wiggling toes, hands covering a face I now adore, legs kicking like mad. I was in love, relieved at her heath, blessed by her life, and a little sad she wasn't a boy.

And really, it is silly, because I always wanted a daughter, too, and daughters are girls- I just didn't want her first.

Every dream I ever had about a family had a son first, because that is what I know. It is familiar, comfortable, and so special to have a big brother. As I lay there on that chair thing I completely let go of my childhood dreams and embraced a new one, a big sister-hmm. I don't even know what that looks like, how am I supposed to teach my daughter to be the best big sister in the world?

As silly as it is, it never occurred to me that I MAY have a daughter first, and I did. And I am so blessed, so lucky, so grateful that I GOT to have a daughter, and will praise God if I get 10 more, or all boys after. God is good, he knew just what we needed and always does.

And it's okay with me that Brooke doesn't have a big brother, she has big boy cousins who love her very much, and watching big Hunter-man cradling her today, kissing her gently, whispering into her ear, and loving her so very much, reminding her "how cuuuute" she is, I know she will get the protection, comfort, encouragement, and love that I got from my big brothers. It'll just have come from cousins, and they're really good at it.

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