I can't be the only mom in the world who is changing, growing, and challenging herself as a woman every day.
I am a young-ish mom- and I never had thought about what that might mean for my family. It might mean that I have less life experience, that I haven't been out to see the world, and so perhaps, I might not know how to best culturize my children. (Yes... I made that word up, you probably won't want to re-use it).
But I am an old soul- a watcher, a thinker, and mostly a what would I do-er.
I have been an aunt for almost half of my life... that is scary... oh my word.... holy crap. I have watched my brother's parent their children. I have babysat for many families, and one daily for years. I have younger cousins. I attend a church where families are abundant. I have been close to others with young children. I have watched, I have listened, and I believe I have held experiences in my heart.
So, surely, I might be less than a quarter of a century old (for a few more months at least), but I have lived a full, beautiful life where I believe I have been blessed plentifully with experiences. Those I have read about, watched, and lived. And I try to learn from each one, so I am proud of the mom that I am every day... and some days I know I won't be. (It is kind of easy with a baby... but when we're starting to get in to everything... Dr. Nelly can come out)
My mothering gets better every day- Brooklyn sharpens me into a more beautiful woman of God every day as I am challenged to raise her for the King.
This morning I had a sense of peace as she tipped over my entire purse- I was blending my breakfast (YUM) and not watching her, she grabbed the handle and poof- keys, wallet, receipts (that should just be thrown away anyway), gift cards galore, business cards aplenty, thank goodness I zipped the lotions/body works/lip stuff in that side pocket... and I just giggled at her big, proud smile. "Silly Lyn, look at how clever you are big girl! Momma should have watched you!" I chuckled, she squealed, all was cleaned up in less than 2 minutes, and life went on.
She won't remember this moment. And in 2 years, I may forget... I guess that is why I like to write down my favorite memories. Who cares that she made a small mess, she is a child, she is a baby, she is my love- how can I get angry over that? I should have been watching!
Have you had little moments that have changed you? Experiences where you said, "I will never do that when I have kids," and meant it- even better, LIVED it? Are you quick to anger with your kids (because you're tired, you're done, you're sick of being the entertainer, you just want to be alone)?
Choose a reaction today- close your eyes and create in your head a moment- something that always makes you lose your temper, but this time, change how you respond in your head, seal it over your heart, and commit to that reaction today.
(I read a story on facebook, I think it was, of a friend who had gotten in a small fender bender- they were rear ended, and they were kind, gentle, quick to forgive, and tender with the person who had bumped them- I decided to act this way if that were to happen to my family. And when it did this winter- forgive me if I wrote about it already, I reacted just as I would have wanted to in a dream world. I checked Brooke, who was fussing from the noise we bet, then enveloped this young boy in a hug as tears streamed down his face, "We forgive you, Austin, it is okay." To see the tears turn to a sobby smile melted my heart- I don't think I would have reacted like that 2 years ago.)
Why should we holler, get frustrated, and scowl at others? We could throw in an eye roll, that'd be mature. We could just choose love and kindness... perhaps.