I never thought I'd pick another person's boogers,
I never shared a blanket all night long.
I never imagined singing the same song on repeat for hours on end.
I never realized how little sleep I need.
I never held the power to calm someone's tears and fears,
until you came into my life.
I told myself I had to stop being afraid of the dark when you got here, baby girl, but I just can't promise you that it isn't scary,
and I can't promise you that there are not monsters in the closet or an alligator under your bed,
because I kind of think there are some in my room, too.
But we can just snuggle together, because when we do, they don't seem to bother me at all.
My baby is 11 months old. What an amazing almost year it has been. What a treasure, a gift. Lord, I pray I have done well mothering her and raising her well. My sweet baby B-lyn.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Missing and loving
I miss late night feedings, but I love sleeping all night.
I miss snuggling in bed, but I love wrestling and tossing you into the blankets.
I miss sleeping all day together, but I love playing more.
I miss non-smelly poops, but it is nice to share mealtime with you.
I miss having a clean house, but I love that you are the reason for my messes.
I miss having you in my bedroom, but I love that you are independent.
I haven't missed out on many moments.
I absolutely love the little girl you are becoming.
I miss snuggling in bed, but I love wrestling and tossing you into the blankets.
I miss sleeping all day together, but I love playing more.
I miss non-smelly poops, but it is nice to share mealtime with you.
I miss having a clean house, but I love that you are the reason for my messes.
I miss having you in my bedroom, but I love that you are independent.
I haven't missed out on many moments.
I absolutely love the little girl you are becoming.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Where we're at.
Lately Brooklyn,
- has shown a true liking to yogurt, full body flail (that others may consider a medical condition) of excitement as soon as she sees her special cups.
- can be seen with a puzzle piece sticking out of her mouth, she particularly enjoys the farm board puzzle from her big cousins with huge knobs that she plops in her mouth and sucks on throughout the day- I get to stare at cardboard brown cutouts in front of her cut little face.
- tips over backwards to drink out of her sippy cups (Avent are my favorite, no leaking so far, and easiest for her to drink now that she figured out how to suck them! And my SIL just informed me that the tops are inter-changeable with the bottles- too bad I didn't use those! Geez Louise! :) The things you learn LATER! :) Then again... I only have bottles that came with my pump...)
- pulls my pants down on a continuous basis, to the point that if shorts season doesn't get here fast... we're going to have a problem. She loves to stand while I cook or do dishes and pulls on my pants to get up, then they both end up on the floor! (In fact... she just pulled them down to my knees, thank you for that love.
- tries to grab on to the back of pants to follow behind, she loves "walking" like this- cracks me up every time!
- has yet to open a cabinet (thank God for quiet close because even my 2 year old nephew can't open them! :) For those of you who have been to my house... you know it will be a problem when she has the curiosity for, "What is behind door A?" since there is no way to block cabinets in a small house with a great room... :)
- will finally eat avocados, she just needed a little lime, miss fancy pants- she gets it from Aunt H. :)
- calls me Mama, and daddy Dada and Papa (last night... or was she calling for her grandpa? Hmmm...)
- If she hears "hello," in a song, from a toy, others speaking, she waves looking for who came in- seriously a-friggin-dorable.
- she has another little girl cousin due in less than 2 weeks (my cousin's baby) and another girl cousin due in August (my other cousin's baby) and we cannot wait to love on those little bundles.... by poking eyes, pulling fingers, and most likely sitting on. (Don't worry- I won't be doing those things....)
Life is good, and I am enjoying every single moment.
- has shown a true liking to yogurt, full body flail (that others may consider a medical condition) of excitement as soon as she sees her special cups.
- can be seen with a puzzle piece sticking out of her mouth, she particularly enjoys the farm board puzzle from her big cousins with huge knobs that she plops in her mouth and sucks on throughout the day- I get to stare at cardboard brown cutouts in front of her cut little face.
- tips over backwards to drink out of her sippy cups (Avent are my favorite, no leaking so far, and easiest for her to drink now that she figured out how to suck them! And my SIL just informed me that the tops are inter-changeable with the bottles- too bad I didn't use those! Geez Louise! :) The things you learn LATER! :) Then again... I only have bottles that came with my pump...)
- pulls my pants down on a continuous basis, to the point that if shorts season doesn't get here fast... we're going to have a problem. She loves to stand while I cook or do dishes and pulls on my pants to get up, then they both end up on the floor! (In fact... she just pulled them down to my knees, thank you for that love.
- tries to grab on to the back of pants to follow behind, she loves "walking" like this- cracks me up every time!
- has yet to open a cabinet (thank God for quiet close because even my 2 year old nephew can't open them! :) For those of you who have been to my house... you know it will be a problem when she has the curiosity for, "What is behind door A?" since there is no way to block cabinets in a small house with a great room... :)
- will finally eat avocados, she just needed a little lime, miss fancy pants- she gets it from Aunt H. :)
- calls me Mama, and daddy Dada and Papa (last night... or was she calling for her grandpa? Hmmm...)
- If she hears "hello," in a song, from a toy, others speaking, she waves looking for who came in- seriously a-friggin-dorable.
- she has another little girl cousin due in less than 2 weeks (my cousin's baby) and another girl cousin due in August (my other cousin's baby) and we cannot wait to love on those little bundles.... by poking eyes, pulling fingers, and most likely sitting on. (Don't worry- I won't be doing those things....)
Life is good, and I am enjoying every single moment.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Iron sharpens Iron, so will a child sharpen her Mama.
I can't be the only mom in the world who is changing, growing, and challenging herself as a woman every day.
I am a young-ish mom- and I never had thought about what that might mean for my family. It might mean that I have less life experience, that I haven't been out to see the world, and so perhaps, I might not know how to best culturize my children. (Yes... I made that word up, you probably won't want to re-use it).
But I am an old soul- a watcher, a thinker, and mostly a what would I do-er.
I have been an aunt for almost half of my life... that is scary... oh my word.... holy crap. I have watched my brother's parent their children. I have babysat for many families, and one daily for years. I have younger cousins. I attend a church where families are abundant. I have been close to others with young children. I have watched, I have listened, and I believe I have held experiences in my heart.
So, surely, I might be less than a quarter of a century old (for a few more months at least), but I have lived a full, beautiful life where I believe I have been blessed plentifully with experiences. Those I have read about, watched, and lived. And I try to learn from each one, so I am proud of the mom that I am every day... and some days I know I won't be. (It is kind of easy with a baby... but when we're starting to get in to everything... Dr. Nelly can come out)
My mothering gets better every day- Brooklyn sharpens me into a more beautiful woman of God every day as I am challenged to raise her for the King.
This morning I had a sense of peace as she tipped over my entire purse- I was blending my breakfast (YUM) and not watching her, she grabbed the handle and poof- keys, wallet, receipts (that should just be thrown away anyway), gift cards galore, business cards aplenty, thank goodness I zipped the lotions/body works/lip stuff in that side pocket... and I just giggled at her big, proud smile. "Silly Lyn, look at how clever you are big girl! Momma should have watched you!" I chuckled, she squealed, all was cleaned up in less than 2 minutes, and life went on.
She won't remember this moment. And in 2 years, I may forget... I guess that is why I like to write down my favorite memories. Who cares that she made a small mess, she is a child, she is a baby, she is my love- how can I get angry over that? I should have been watching!
Have you had little moments that have changed you? Experiences where you said, "I will never do that when I have kids," and meant it- even better, LIVED it? Are you quick to anger with your kids (because you're tired, you're done, you're sick of being the entertainer, you just want to be alone)?
Choose a reaction today- close your eyes and create in your head a moment- something that always makes you lose your temper, but this time, change how you respond in your head, seal it over your heart, and commit to that reaction today.
(I read a story on facebook, I think it was, of a friend who had gotten in a small fender bender- they were rear ended, and they were kind, gentle, quick to forgive, and tender with the person who had bumped them- I decided to act this way if that were to happen to my family. And when it did this winter- forgive me if I wrote about it already, I reacted just as I would have wanted to in a dream world. I checked Brooke, who was fussing from the noise we bet, then enveloped this young boy in a hug as tears streamed down his face, "We forgive you, Austin, it is okay." To see the tears turn to a sobby smile melted my heart- I don't think I would have reacted like that 2 years ago.)
Why should we holler, get frustrated, and scowl at others? We could throw in an eye roll, that'd be mature. We could just choose love and kindness... perhaps.
I am a young-ish mom- and I never had thought about what that might mean for my family. It might mean that I have less life experience, that I haven't been out to see the world, and so perhaps, I might not know how to best culturize my children. (Yes... I made that word up, you probably won't want to re-use it).
But I am an old soul- a watcher, a thinker, and mostly a what would I do-er.
I have been an aunt for almost half of my life... that is scary... oh my word.... holy crap. I have watched my brother's parent their children. I have babysat for many families, and one daily for years. I have younger cousins. I attend a church where families are abundant. I have been close to others with young children. I have watched, I have listened, and I believe I have held experiences in my heart.
So, surely, I might be less than a quarter of a century old (for a few more months at least), but I have lived a full, beautiful life where I believe I have been blessed plentifully with experiences. Those I have read about, watched, and lived. And I try to learn from each one, so I am proud of the mom that I am every day... and some days I know I won't be. (It is kind of easy with a baby... but when we're starting to get in to everything... Dr. Nelly can come out)
My mothering gets better every day- Brooklyn sharpens me into a more beautiful woman of God every day as I am challenged to raise her for the King.
This morning I had a sense of peace as she tipped over my entire purse- I was blending my breakfast (YUM) and not watching her, she grabbed the handle and poof- keys, wallet, receipts (that should just be thrown away anyway), gift cards galore, business cards aplenty, thank goodness I zipped the lotions/body works/lip stuff in that side pocket... and I just giggled at her big, proud smile. "Silly Lyn, look at how clever you are big girl! Momma should have watched you!" I chuckled, she squealed, all was cleaned up in less than 2 minutes, and life went on.
She won't remember this moment. And in 2 years, I may forget... I guess that is why I like to write down my favorite memories. Who cares that she made a small mess, she is a child, she is a baby, she is my love- how can I get angry over that? I should have been watching!
Have you had little moments that have changed you? Experiences where you said, "I will never do that when I have kids," and meant it- even better, LIVED it? Are you quick to anger with your kids (because you're tired, you're done, you're sick of being the entertainer, you just want to be alone)?
Choose a reaction today- close your eyes and create in your head a moment- something that always makes you lose your temper, but this time, change how you respond in your head, seal it over your heart, and commit to that reaction today.
(I read a story on facebook, I think it was, of a friend who had gotten in a small fender bender- they were rear ended, and they were kind, gentle, quick to forgive, and tender with the person who had bumped them- I decided to act this way if that were to happen to my family. And when it did this winter- forgive me if I wrote about it already, I reacted just as I would have wanted to in a dream world. I checked Brooke, who was fussing from the noise we bet, then enveloped this young boy in a hug as tears streamed down his face, "We forgive you, Austin, it is okay." To see the tears turn to a sobby smile melted my heart- I don't think I would have reacted like that 2 years ago.)
Why should we holler, get frustrated, and scowl at others? We could throw in an eye roll, that'd be mature. We could just choose love and kindness... perhaps.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Greetings
A day or two ago on the radio they were discussing greetings- what a powerful 30 seconds we have with our children and spouses, students, and coworkers every day.
"Mornin!"
"You're late."
"Do you have homework?"
"Why did you wear that shirt today?"
"I'm so happy you're here."
"We're running late, let's go."
I think you get the point- I think you already know what I am going to say.
I try to treat my husband like the king when he gets home, because well... he is the king of this castle. I squeal with joy, ramping up the excitement for our 9 month old and dog. Harley slides across the wood floors taking Brooklyn out by the knees, I catch her by the arm and we race to the back door. "Daddy is here!!!"
I hope his heart swells at the sound of our thrills. He whistles behind the door exciting the dog and intriguing our baby- we literally cannot wait for this man to open the basement door.
I kiss him hard when he walks through the door as if to say, "Where have you been all day, my love? How I have missed you!" My hand always lingers on his bicep as he reaches over to snuggle our baby and give her scruffy whisker kisses. Then- the dog licks till her heart is content and we are back to regular business.
I have been chewing on this- I have so many negative feelings towards cell phones and the constant connect-ability we can choose to have with them- often when we enter a lunch date or family time we're "just finishing this up." Then you get the, "sigh, hello." (I don't want to give a sigh hello, I want to give a smile, welcome, hug, a cheer... anything but that!) Jonathan and I are holding out on the smartphone thing (partly because we have no room in our budget but mostly, because I simply hate the idolatry of phones). To see kids sit on their phones at dinner or on a visit, for a mom to not set the phone down for 5 seconds to snuggle her babes who just walked in the house, for a dad whose ear piece is always connected to his head and can't kiss his wife because he is still "working" when he walks in the door- I have to think, are we stewarding these moments well?
Are we showing our spouses, children, and families how important they are through our greetings? (And this is just 30 seconds of our day, there are million other times that I hope we are all showing love to our loves! :) It seems like something so simple, so stupid, so small to just say "Hello," but I think it matters so much.
Believe me, I know that every day is different- the other day I had dinner up to my elbows and Jon just wasn't going to get the loving he usually does when he walks in the door- I think he forgives me. But today- I made sure to love him in those first 5 seconds because it is on my heart. It is important to me.
Is it important to you?
"Mornin!"
"You're late."
"Do you have homework?"
"Why did you wear that shirt today?"
"I'm so happy you're here."
"We're running late, let's go."
I think you get the point- I think you already know what I am going to say.
I try to treat my husband like the king when he gets home, because well... he is the king of this castle. I squeal with joy, ramping up the excitement for our 9 month old and dog. Harley slides across the wood floors taking Brooklyn out by the knees, I catch her by the arm and we race to the back door. "Daddy is here!!!"
I hope his heart swells at the sound of our thrills. He whistles behind the door exciting the dog and intriguing our baby- we literally cannot wait for this man to open the basement door.
I kiss him hard when he walks through the door as if to say, "Where have you been all day, my love? How I have missed you!" My hand always lingers on his bicep as he reaches over to snuggle our baby and give her scruffy whisker kisses. Then- the dog licks till her heart is content and we are back to regular business.
I have been chewing on this- I have so many negative feelings towards cell phones and the constant connect-ability we can choose to have with them- often when we enter a lunch date or family time we're "just finishing this up." Then you get the, "sigh, hello." (I don't want to give a sigh hello, I want to give a smile, welcome, hug, a cheer... anything but that!) Jonathan and I are holding out on the smartphone thing (partly because we have no room in our budget but mostly, because I simply hate the idolatry of phones). To see kids sit on their phones at dinner or on a visit, for a mom to not set the phone down for 5 seconds to snuggle her babes who just walked in the house, for a dad whose ear piece is always connected to his head and can't kiss his wife because he is still "working" when he walks in the door- I have to think, are we stewarding these moments well?
Are we showing our spouses, children, and families how important they are through our greetings? (And this is just 30 seconds of our day, there are million other times that I hope we are all showing love to our loves! :) It seems like something so simple, so stupid, so small to just say "Hello," but I think it matters so much.
Believe me, I know that every day is different- the other day I had dinner up to my elbows and Jon just wasn't going to get the loving he usually does when he walks in the door- I think he forgives me. But today- I made sure to love him in those first 5 seconds because it is on my heart. It is important to me.
Is it important to you?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Smooches and Waves
Puckered lips.
"Give Momma a smooch! You can do it!"
plop.
My face is dripping with slobber, my heart is overflowing with love.
She has kissed me before, but tonight it was kiss, after kiss, after kiss- and the loudest, silliest giggles from both of our mouths as she covered mine in hers. This moment will remain frozen in my memory- our best laugh attack, our sweetest moment yet. Oh sweet child of mine- you are the most perfect gift. My lips shook the inside of her mouth making her giggle even more- open mouthed kisses are so gross, when it isn't your kid. I eagerly await the days of real kisses, but for now, if I look a little drooly, I'm just being loved on by one special girl.
Tonight I made a quick trip to the library before bedtime- I got 2 books in (Choosing to See and Startling Beauty) from 2 far away libraries and wanted to get a head start while my dear love played games tonight. When I got home I waved largely to Brookie and she beamed, waving her arm as hard as she could. She came to me falling on her face trying to wave and crawl at the same time. (I wouldn't recommend it.) So precious, so sweet, so wonderfully mine.
Lord thank you for this little girl you have entrusted to me- may I honor this gift every day, may I teach her all that you would have her learn, may I be the best for her always- (in every stage, even when she poops her diaper 5 times a day... and sticks her feet in it).
"Give Momma a smooch! You can do it!"
plop.
My face is dripping with slobber, my heart is overflowing with love.
She has kissed me before, but tonight it was kiss, after kiss, after kiss- and the loudest, silliest giggles from both of our mouths as she covered mine in hers. This moment will remain frozen in my memory- our best laugh attack, our sweetest moment yet. Oh sweet child of mine- you are the most perfect gift. My lips shook the inside of her mouth making her giggle even more- open mouthed kisses are so gross, when it isn't your kid. I eagerly await the days of real kisses, but for now, if I look a little drooly, I'm just being loved on by one special girl.
Tonight I made a quick trip to the library before bedtime- I got 2 books in (Choosing to See and Startling Beauty) from 2 far away libraries and wanted to get a head start while my dear love played games tonight. When I got home I waved largely to Brookie and she beamed, waving her arm as hard as she could. She came to me falling on her face trying to wave and crawl at the same time. (I wouldn't recommend it.) So precious, so sweet, so wonderfully mine.
Lord thank you for this little girl you have entrusted to me- may I honor this gift every day, may I teach her all that you would have her learn, may I be the best for her always- (in every stage, even when she poops her diaper 5 times a day... and sticks her feet in it).
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
One year.
One slice.
One tug.
One cut.
One cry.
One voice.
One glance.
One whisper.
One kiss.
One little love.
It was our one year anniversary when the doctor told me it would be very difficult to become pregnant. It was one year from that day exactly, that we delivered our one beautiful daughter.
I still cannot believe that I am the one who holds this child in my arms, I thought it would be years before I met her. This baby whose every smile gives me butterflies in my stomach, this love. This gift that has changed me so very much. I know that every day, I am the best momma I was created to be.
I am gladly not number one in my life anymore, I am proudly not number one for every day. It is my greatest joy to not shower so I can play with my baby, it is an honor to wake up at 5:45 in the morning to feed my love. I wear bags under my eyes with pride some days, spit up is still my perfume. There truly is no other job I was destined for than this.
She will be one year soon, sooner than later, and I can totally believe it! We have had the greatest journeys, the most fun, and I have savored every moment. I'm not sure what it is... but you probably won't hear me say "where did that year go?" Because I'm still in shock that she is here. :)
Oh my one baby... I love you girl.
One tug.
One cut.
One cry.
One voice.
One glance.
One whisper.
One kiss.
One little love.
It was our one year anniversary when the doctor told me it would be very difficult to become pregnant. It was one year from that day exactly, that we delivered our one beautiful daughter.
I still cannot believe that I am the one who holds this child in my arms, I thought it would be years before I met her. This baby whose every smile gives me butterflies in my stomach, this love. This gift that has changed me so very much. I know that every day, I am the best momma I was created to be.
I am gladly not number one in my life anymore, I am proudly not number one for every day. It is my greatest joy to not shower so I can play with my baby, it is an honor to wake up at 5:45 in the morning to feed my love. I wear bags under my eyes with pride some days, spit up is still my perfume. There truly is no other job I was destined for than this.
She will be one year soon, sooner than later, and I can totally believe it! We have had the greatest journeys, the most fun, and I have savored every moment. I'm not sure what it is... but you probably won't hear me say "where did that year go?" Because I'm still in shock that she is here. :)
Oh my one baby... I love you girl.
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