Friends- this is my opinion, only. This is not a scientific method or study. I cannot guarantee that this will protect all children in your home. I am not a doctor, nurse, nor allergist, just a concerned mama friend of an allergy family, and this is what we do to welcome them into our home.
My best friend's daughter has a peanut allergy- she is one of the 1%. Yes, I didn't realize it was only 1% that have a peanut allergy specifically. From how much I hear about this, I figured it would be much higher, but that's what The Peanut Institute shares and, I'll go with it. Here is the thing, food allergies, as with any allergy really, can be life threatening. It is believed that each reaction gets worse with most food allergies. Little A has had skin reactions from her limited exposure to peanut butter, so we're not taking any chances.
But here is the deal. Families of kids with allergies shouldn't have to be quarantined from going into people's homes. However, if it is best for their safety, then by all means. (My husband is allergic to cats so we're cautious, he takes medicine before we go and washes his hands often while we are around cats.) I personally feel it is fair to have a special allergy free space at an elementary school (for example) for children to eat the best lunches for them keeping everyone safe. I feel it is the responsibility of the school and teacher to require children to wash their hands after lunch, before returning to the classroom to keep their students safe.
I truly do try to be sensitive to food allergies while still allowing my family to eat those foods. I am helping my friend by keeping her girls part-time this summer while she goes to nursing school, so I am on high alert these days. It is important to me that Little A can be in my home at any point in time- but since I have her three days a week, I am watching extra cautiously. This is my routine/how I prepare to have a friend with a food allergy at our allergy free house.
1. Clear all counters and tables the night before they come over, wipe them down with a cleaning solution. (I use a homemade vodka, essential oil, water cleaner on my granite. I wipe mine daily, but am sure to use the cleaner on Little A days.)
2. Spot check furniture if you let your children eat on it- for me this is my living room and kitchen chairs, both leather/pleather. I do a wipe down with vinegar/water if I see anything suspicious.
3. Wipe handles/doorknobs with a baby wipe. Again, this isn't scientific, I am doing my best to make a safe space for my friend's child and so far we have done well with this.
4. Wash all children's plates/cups/silverware in the dishwasher.
5. Take all kitchen rags and towels to the laundry the night before she arrives and have fresh ones that morning.
6. No peanut butter on Little A days until she is gone from the house for the day.
I am guessing you can see the reasoning behind each of these- if not, ask away! Overall, I think of where we have peanut butter in our house (it if very rare that we have actual nuts at this stage in life, but if we did, I would vacuum, which I do daily, to be sure they're all cleaned up.) and try to clean that space. The one rule I think that is most easily forgotten is 'dishrags and kitchen towels.' I wipe all faces, it is very possible that I could wipe Little A's face with a cloth used for pbj the day before and she could react- this avoids that problem altogether. This isn't a perfect plan, but it is good as I know how. I do not plan to make my home allergy free unless one of my children has a food allergy, but I feel like this is fair and loving to accommodate her at my house.
Do you have any friends with food allergies? Do you prepare to have them in your home any particular way?
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Vacationing with Small Kids
Going on vacation is a huge deal for our family, like- so gigantic we don't do it. Part one is my own fear- I do not like change, unknown, surprises and not being in control. Part two is we just cannot afford it. Part three is it is hard, it is just REALLY, REALLY hard. But friends, I hope after the end of this week (yes, go big or go home, we're gone Saturday to Saturday) I can say it was worth it. We are traveling for the first time as a family of four- with my husband's entire immediate family- Nana, three adult siblings + spouses, and six children age five and under.
This trip has been planned for months and dreamt of for longer. My husband's sister and husband own a timeshare that they have worked around points so we can do this sort of thing. After researching flights- we settled on a location that was a little less than perfect, but we're loving it so far. (So what makes it less than perfect? It isn't on the beach, it isn't easy to get to the beach from here walking/biking, there isn't much close by for walking) But- it was our best bet to GET to and to eat our own food. Apart from finding a location, booking airline tickets and just discussing what we'd like to do in Myrtle Beach, SC I started my lists. I know, I know. It was December and I had lists for a trip in June in a notebook. So.... for my first post about vacationing with small kids, I'd like to talk about those lists. For some people, it doesn't work, and that is totally okay. But if you're like me- and you don't want to be caught with your pants down at a resort with no way other than a taxi to a store 5 miles away..... maybe you should stick with me on this.
I started with the easy stuff- each person got a 1/4 page (so this was one sheet, front and back). I knew we had units with laundry in them, so I decided to pack 4 outfits, 2 swim suits, and 2-3 pairs of jammies. Our little dude got 4 pairs, the kid leaks through his diaper EVERY night. You wanna see my list? Ok fine, twist my arm.
Daddy
2 pair nicer shorts
2 pair athletic shorts
4 t-shirts (1 blue for family photo)
1 pair jersey shorts and 1 sleep t-shirt
2 swim trunks
1 rash guard
4 pairs underwear
2 pairs socks
flip flops
1 hat (he is bald)
Owen
4 outfits (1 blue for family photos)
2 extra shirts for nasty spills/stains
4 jammies
2 swimsuits
1 rash guard
flip flops
Brooke
2 short/t-shirt outfits
2 dresses
2 night gowns
4 undies
2 swimsuits (which I am only letting her use one, it is my FAVORITE of hers and the pool bottom totally ripped up the butt, not letting that happen to ANOTHER suit! BUMMED!)
cover up
sandals/keens/summer shoes
Mommy
4 t shirts
4 tank tops (I layer)
2 bottoms
picture outfit (I'm wearing a dress I won't wear to just hang out in on vacation) + 2 scarves to pick the best
2 jammies
4 undies
1 bra
bikini top, bottoms, rash guard (I wear my rash guard as a top... but my rack is too big to not wear a bikini top, don't judge)
skirt for walking to the pool
flip flops
Then I tried to think of what would entertain our family on the plane, the movies were the best. Honestly IN the airport was the hardest waiting for the infamous "a-pane ride!"
On Plane (Backpack for each person)
Largest shoes for all- Tennis shoes for Daddy and B, Birkenstock for Mommy, Owen only owns 1 pair of shoes that fit now
Technology: ipad, itouch, headphones
Snacks: goldfish, teddy grahams, banana, fruit snacks, mini packet skittles and m&ms, 2 empty sippy cups
Miscellaneous Toys (the night I packed, I actually made a list and took a picture of it on my phone so I can check it before we leave when we let him take out his toys: magnadoodle, 3 matchbox cars, dinosaur transformer, 2 dinosaurs, elephant, jaguar, matchbox trike, light up mini light saber, mini pillow pet- for bedtime, coloring book, 1 box crayons, stickers, barbie plus 2 pairs shoes, polly pocket)
2 pacifiers
In Brooklyn's Backpack: 1 Barbie, 2 pairs of shoes for Barbie, Bag of Polly Pocket, Coloring Book and Crayons, Lovie
1 Sippy cup per child
We keep bathroom time simple, and this is what I needed most:
Toiletries
Teeth supplies (this is 3 types for us and the kids, UGH!)
shampoo/conditioner
baby soap
shaving cream
razors
hairbrush
soap dad
soap mom
qtips
contact cases/solution/extra pairs
glasses
moisturizer
deodorants
And then I had to figure out what we needed out of those categories-
Family needs
tide washing packets (I brought 5 because that was the package I purchased for about $0.10 with sales and coupons)
diapers- if we had a car or were close to a store, I would have bought these at our destination. I brought 5 diapers a day
wipes
sunglasses
goggles
sunscreen (I packed 4 spray kids, 3 adult spray, 1 kid lotion, 1 adult lotion, I kid face stick. This has been a great amount for our family, I reapply a TON and we've had no burns so far. We apply lotion to start the day and spray while we're out and about. I use the kid's face stick on our lips as they are easy to forget about!)
2 shovels, 2 sieves, 1 plastic tablecloth to make a "pool" at the beach
2 small beach towels, cheap that can be tossed if I need space in our bag
swim diapers (I brought a pack of 17, you never know what your kids will be like in the pool, I reuse them if they aren't pooped in or smothered in sand)
beach bag
camera
2 extra sippy cups (Yes, we lost one on day one, so this was essential)
pacifiers (3 extra hidden in case we lose some)
Vacation is coming to a close and we have purchased NOTHING other than fun stuff. The only item I have thought may have been nice to have was a sweatshirt because the AC can be pretty cool in the evenings- but I didn't want to take up space and get sweaty. The evenings have not been cold enough to need anything here mid 70s, so I don't miss it really. We packed in one carry on (STUFFED with our entire wardrobe for the week all rolled) and 1 checked bag that was 43 pounds, I believe. Without the diapers it should be a touch lighter, our clothes were very heavy.
I am so grateful we brought what we did, and not much more. I have 3 washing packets left and 2 days of vacation left, I will use at least one of those, I LOVE coming home with clean clothes to simply put into drawers.
Well friends.... so that's it! It looks like so much, but I PROMISE we only brought a carry on, checked bag, each kid had a backpack with kid stuff in it, my backpack with my camera and a few other items, and my husband's backpack with his laptop, mine and the ipad. This has been so great, not panicking and needing more stuff has been so rewarding! You CAN do this, I know it may sound like too much, but you'll love it! I was skeptical, but we have had a lovely time. And have LOVED the beach (yes, I'm still in shock!) with a curious 2 year old boy and his almost 4 year old sister.... more on that another day!
*Normally I'd have packed sun hats for the kids, they refuse to wear them, not worth packing then.
*The multiple bathing suits was GENIUS. The pool chewed up the bum of my daughter's suit so she wore one to the pool, one to the ocean, and she was happy to put the sandy suit in the wash but still have a pool suit!
This trip has been planned for months and dreamt of for longer. My husband's sister and husband own a timeshare that they have worked around points so we can do this sort of thing. After researching flights- we settled on a location that was a little less than perfect, but we're loving it so far. (So what makes it less than perfect? It isn't on the beach, it isn't easy to get to the beach from here walking/biking, there isn't much close by for walking) But- it was our best bet to GET to and to eat our own food. Apart from finding a location, booking airline tickets and just discussing what we'd like to do in Myrtle Beach, SC I started my lists. I know, I know. It was December and I had lists for a trip in June in a notebook. So.... for my first post about vacationing with small kids, I'd like to talk about those lists. For some people, it doesn't work, and that is totally okay. But if you're like me- and you don't want to be caught with your pants down at a resort with no way other than a taxi to a store 5 miles away..... maybe you should stick with me on this.
I started with the easy stuff- each person got a 1/4 page (so this was one sheet, front and back). I knew we had units with laundry in them, so I decided to pack 4 outfits, 2 swim suits, and 2-3 pairs of jammies. Our little dude got 4 pairs, the kid leaks through his diaper EVERY night. You wanna see my list? Ok fine, twist my arm.
Daddy
2 pair nicer shorts
2 pair athletic shorts
4 t-shirts (1 blue for family photo)
1 pair jersey shorts and 1 sleep t-shirt
2 swim trunks
1 rash guard
4 pairs underwear
2 pairs socks
flip flops
1 hat (he is bald)
Owen
4 outfits (1 blue for family photos)
2 extra shirts for nasty spills/stains
4 jammies
2 swimsuits
1 rash guard
flip flops
Brooke
2 short/t-shirt outfits
2 dresses
2 night gowns
4 undies
2 swimsuits (which I am only letting her use one, it is my FAVORITE of hers and the pool bottom totally ripped up the butt, not letting that happen to ANOTHER suit! BUMMED!)
cover up
sandals/keens/summer shoes
Mommy
4 t shirts
4 tank tops (I layer)
2 bottoms
picture outfit (I'm wearing a dress I won't wear to just hang out in on vacation) + 2 scarves to pick the best
2 jammies
4 undies
1 bra
bikini top, bottoms, rash guard (I wear my rash guard as a top... but my rack is too big to not wear a bikini top, don't judge)
skirt for walking to the pool
flip flops
Then I tried to think of what would entertain our family on the plane, the movies were the best. Honestly IN the airport was the hardest waiting for the infamous "a-pane ride!"
On Plane (Backpack for each person)
Largest shoes for all- Tennis shoes for Daddy and B, Birkenstock for Mommy, Owen only owns 1 pair of shoes that fit now
Technology: ipad, itouch, headphones
Snacks: goldfish, teddy grahams, banana, fruit snacks, mini packet skittles and m&ms, 2 empty sippy cups
Miscellaneous Toys (the night I packed, I actually made a list and took a picture of it on my phone so I can check it before we leave when we let him take out his toys: magnadoodle, 3 matchbox cars, dinosaur transformer, 2 dinosaurs, elephant, jaguar, matchbox trike, light up mini light saber, mini pillow pet- for bedtime, coloring book, 1 box crayons, stickers, barbie plus 2 pairs shoes, polly pocket)
2 pacifiers
In Brooklyn's Backpack: 1 Barbie, 2 pairs of shoes for Barbie, Bag of Polly Pocket, Coloring Book and Crayons, Lovie
1 Sippy cup per child
We keep bathroom time simple, and this is what I needed most:
Toiletries
Teeth supplies (this is 3 types for us and the kids, UGH!)
shampoo/conditioner
baby soap
shaving cream
razors
hairbrush
soap dad
soap mom
qtips
contact cases/solution/extra pairs
glasses
moisturizer
deodorants
And then I had to figure out what we needed out of those categories-
Family needs
tide washing packets (I brought 5 because that was the package I purchased for about $0.10 with sales and coupons)
diapers- if we had a car or were close to a store, I would have bought these at our destination. I brought 5 diapers a day
wipes
sunglasses
goggles
sunscreen (I packed 4 spray kids, 3 adult spray, 1 kid lotion, 1 adult lotion, I kid face stick. This has been a great amount for our family, I reapply a TON and we've had no burns so far. We apply lotion to start the day and spray while we're out and about. I use the kid's face stick on our lips as they are easy to forget about!)
2 shovels, 2 sieves, 1 plastic tablecloth to make a "pool" at the beach
2 small beach towels, cheap that can be tossed if I need space in our bag
swim diapers (I brought a pack of 17, you never know what your kids will be like in the pool, I reuse them if they aren't pooped in or smothered in sand)
beach bag
camera
2 extra sippy cups (Yes, we lost one on day one, so this was essential)
pacifiers (3 extra hidden in case we lose some)
Vacation is coming to a close and we have purchased NOTHING other than fun stuff. The only item I have thought may have been nice to have was a sweatshirt because the AC can be pretty cool in the evenings- but I didn't want to take up space and get sweaty. The evenings have not been cold enough to need anything here mid 70s, so I don't miss it really. We packed in one carry on (STUFFED with our entire wardrobe for the week all rolled) and 1 checked bag that was 43 pounds, I believe. Without the diapers it should be a touch lighter, our clothes were very heavy.
I am so grateful we brought what we did, and not much more. I have 3 washing packets left and 2 days of vacation left, I will use at least one of those, I LOVE coming home with clean clothes to simply put into drawers.
Well friends.... so that's it! It looks like so much, but I PROMISE we only brought a carry on, checked bag, each kid had a backpack with kid stuff in it, my backpack with my camera and a few other items, and my husband's backpack with his laptop, mine and the ipad. This has been so great, not panicking and needing more stuff has been so rewarding! You CAN do this, I know it may sound like too much, but you'll love it! I was skeptical, but we have had a lovely time. And have LOVED the beach (yes, I'm still in shock!) with a curious 2 year old boy and his almost 4 year old sister.... more on that another day!
*Normally I'd have packed sun hats for the kids, they refuse to wear them, not worth packing then.
*The multiple bathing suits was GENIUS. The pool chewed up the bum of my daughter's suit so she wore one to the pool, one to the ocean, and she was happy to put the sandy suit in the wash but still have a pool suit!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Cleaning Barf From Your Carseat
After our son had food poisoning this week and barfed all over the house- we finally got out of the house a few days later. It was glorious. We swam, we played, we laughed together. And then... he barfed. So much pool water barf ALL over himself, his carseat, and the actual seat of the car.
Shaking head.
God help me.
So I set out to fix this stank of a problem and well... this carseat that we have, although I love it.... is not an easy one to clean. I scoured the internet for help and I came up so short. Everyone talked about using q-tips. People... q-tips weren't going to touch this shit. Gross. So, here is my "cleaning barf from your carseat" instructions, because we ALL need that. (Note: I did call Evenflo for help- there are so many screws on this seat, but there are warnings all over it: DO NOT REMOVE, blah blah. So, the lady basically said there was no suggestion other than spraying it with vinegar. I asked her if a vinegar bath sounded like it would hurt the seat, and she said it sounded like our best option. So, just an FYI, your seat MAY come apart... mine does not.)
Step 1:
Remove carseat from car. (If you're like my husband, keep the barfasaurus in the seat for transportation) Clean up the car, the smell will be SOOOOOO rank in the morning.
Step 2:
Remove carseat cover- take pictures if you have to so you can put it back together. We have an Evenflo Triumph 65 and it is very simple to remove the cover.
Step 2a: Shake off all chunks (we do this in our sink so it can go down the garbage disposal, blegh, ewwww, it is SO AWFUL)
Step 2b: Pretreat if you feel necessary, we had some leftover ice cream dribbles that I threw a little Shout on.
Step 3:
Wash according to your manufacturer's instructions. I usually wash our Evenflo Triumph in the machine on a delicate setting with a cloth diapering friendly detergent- BEWARE you can wash off the flame retardant- follow your manufacturer's instructions on what type of cleaners to use.
Step 4:
While the cover is washing, get down with the big plastic seat. Remove any foam that you can- we can remove the two hip pieces but NOT the back/head piece. We live in Chicago, it has been a miserably cold winter so we had to use the shower for this next part. My husband did shake the seat out sideways, upside down, etc in the yard to get anything dry off of it (I rarely buy goldfish, but they breed in his seat, apparently!). We had to put the carseat into the shower. We just ran it on really hot for a decent amount of time- I put Shout on the straps since they cannot be removed and sprayed vinegar/water solution in the seat of the seat- does that make sense?
*Your cover should be done being washed by now, we choose to air dry our cover so we don't have any shrinking, etc. I just reshape it and hang it on a chair overnight, yes, it takes all night to dry. Many covers can be tumbled on low for a short amount of time, I am not a risk taker, apparently.
Step 5:
Let dry. BIG MISTAKE. We didn't realize how much water would stay in the seat, and so the next morning, I opened the bathroom door to Barfville. It. was. terrible. DON'T LET IT DRY YET!
INSTEAD: Make a hot, huge bath. We sprinkled baking soda all over the seat, poured vinegar directly onto the seat, reclined the seat as much as possible to get as much of the seat part clean, and then ran the tub as full as we could with very hot water. This loosened up so much gunk it was embarrassing. I shook the seat a little to loosen more stuff. Blegh. Just let that baby sit. We let it sit until the water cooled.
Step 6:
Drain the water- wipe down the seat as you do or some chunks will get stuck.
Step 7:
Not gonna lie, we soaked again in a vinegar bath for good measure. We tipped the seat upside down so things could float out in the water- so gross, people, SO GROSS.
Step 8:
Shower it off, just to be sure you've released as much as possible.
Step 9:
Turn the seat upside down in the tub, and let it dry. Do not leave it upright, it will not drain properly.
Step 10:
When seat is totally dry.... put your foam back on, your cover back on, and install according to your manufacturer's directions!
Enjoy your clean, fresh seat. I am so, so happy we did this!
Shaking head.
God help me.
So I set out to fix this stank of a problem and well... this carseat that we have, although I love it.... is not an easy one to clean. I scoured the internet for help and I came up so short. Everyone talked about using q-tips. People... q-tips weren't going to touch this shit. Gross. So, here is my "cleaning barf from your carseat" instructions, because we ALL need that. (Note: I did call Evenflo for help- there are so many screws on this seat, but there are warnings all over it: DO NOT REMOVE, blah blah. So, the lady basically said there was no suggestion other than spraying it with vinegar. I asked her if a vinegar bath sounded like it would hurt the seat, and she said it sounded like our best option. So, just an FYI, your seat MAY come apart... mine does not.)
Step 1:
Remove carseat from car. (If you're like my husband, keep the barfasaurus in the seat for transportation) Clean up the car, the smell will be SOOOOOO rank in the morning.
Step 2:
Remove carseat cover- take pictures if you have to so you can put it back together. We have an Evenflo Triumph 65 and it is very simple to remove the cover.
Step 2a: Shake off all chunks (we do this in our sink so it can go down the garbage disposal, blegh, ewwww, it is SO AWFUL)
Step 2b: Pretreat if you feel necessary, we had some leftover ice cream dribbles that I threw a little Shout on.
Step 3:
Wash according to your manufacturer's instructions. I usually wash our Evenflo Triumph in the machine on a delicate setting with a cloth diapering friendly detergent- BEWARE you can wash off the flame retardant- follow your manufacturer's instructions on what type of cleaners to use.
Step 4:
While the cover is washing, get down with the big plastic seat. Remove any foam that you can- we can remove the two hip pieces but NOT the back/head piece. We live in Chicago, it has been a miserably cold winter so we had to use the shower for this next part. My husband did shake the seat out sideways, upside down, etc in the yard to get anything dry off of it (I rarely buy goldfish, but they breed in his seat, apparently!). We had to put the carseat into the shower. We just ran it on really hot for a decent amount of time- I put Shout on the straps since they cannot be removed and sprayed vinegar/water solution in the seat of the seat- does that make sense?
Here is our seat in the bath, don't judge my messy bathroom, did I mention we had food poisoning and 2 kids barfing this week? This is in the fully reclined position and the water is still filling. You may be able to see it actually coming through the crevices where the straps are.
*Your cover should be done being washed by now, we choose to air dry our cover so we don't have any shrinking, etc. I just reshape it and hang it on a chair overnight, yes, it takes all night to dry. Many covers can be tumbled on low for a short amount of time, I am not a risk taker, apparently.
Step 5:
Let dry. BIG MISTAKE. We didn't realize how much water would stay in the seat, and so the next morning, I opened the bathroom door to Barfville. It. was. terrible. DON'T LET IT DRY YET!
INSTEAD: Make a hot, huge bath. We sprinkled baking soda all over the seat, poured vinegar directly onto the seat, reclined the seat as much as possible to get as much of the seat part clean, and then ran the tub as full as we could with very hot water. This loosened up so much gunk it was embarrassing. I shook the seat a little to loosen more stuff. Blegh. Just let that baby sit. We let it sit until the water cooled.
Step 6:
Drain the water- wipe down the seat as you do or some chunks will get stuck.
Step 7:
Not gonna lie, we soaked again in a vinegar bath for good measure. We tipped the seat upside down so things could float out in the water- so gross, people, SO GROSS.
Step 8:
Shower it off, just to be sure you've released as much as possible.
Step 9:
Turn the seat upside down in the tub, and let it dry. Do not leave it upright, it will not drain properly.
Step 10:
When seat is totally dry.... put your foam back on, your cover back on, and install according to your manufacturer's directions!
Enjoy your clean, fresh seat. I am so, so happy we did this!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Free yourself, Mama
Free yourselves, moms. Let go of your preconceived notions of what a "good" mom is, and be the wonderful mom that YOU ARE. You are enough, Mama. You are actually, MORE than enough.
Let the kid cry. You are his Mama, you've already checked his vitals (diaper, fever, hungry, thirsty). He will be okay. Accept that you cannot be the only source of joy and fulfillment for your children. Accept that we cannot control them. Accept that, no matter what other moms tell you about letting your kid cry (sometimes.... I don't mean the screaming all day, or leaving a new baby for hours in the night, I can't handle that shit) that at times, there is nothing else. Your tank is empty, your magic bag of tricks is depleted, and you just don't have the answer. Let the kid cry- because if you try for hours on end to make him shut it, you're going to turn into that mom that you don't want to be. The yeller. The screamer. The thrower. The monster. So let it go, let the expectation that your kids will always be soothe-able- GO.
Let them make the mess. My son has this thing for ripping every book from our bookshelves. Every. freaking. day. It grates my gears, and often makes me want to explode. He doesn't even sit and look at them. The kiddo pulls them out, to stand on them, to kick them, and just to make the biggest ridiculous mess he can. When I sit to read to him, he just closes my fingers in the books, um.... OUCH. Bedtime he loves stories. Daytime, he will take THEM on an adventure, and show THOSE books who is boss. So. I'm done. Destroy my house, little people. Take out every stinkin thing you have, and be proud. Show those toys who is boss. And mom. Let. it. go. You can clean them up- and hopefully you have a partner to help you out. And heck, if your kids are big enough to help, make them.
Let them be little, like that Billy Dean song. Kids all grow and change at difference paces, let it go, and let them be the little person they are. (Of course if there are medical interventions needed, duh, do that.) My son is talking later than I'd like- but I KNOW he is fine. I can beat myself up and say that it is because I didn't read him enough stories, or I sometimes just wanted a quiet house so when it was just he and I, that is what we had. I'm still a great mom, because I taught him other things in those moments like enjoying the quiet and stillness, independent play, and exploring his world. I am so lucky to have my kids, and they're lucky to have me.
My children are loved. My children are clothed. My children are fed. My children have opportunities. My children are well cared for. I am enough, I have done enough, you are enough, and you have done enough.
We can all try to be perfect moms, or, we can accept that we're imperfect moms raising imperfect little people. And we're all going to be okay, if we'd just stop making everyone feel like we're not going to be okay.
Love to you, Mamas.
Let the kid cry. You are his Mama, you've already checked his vitals (diaper, fever, hungry, thirsty). He will be okay. Accept that you cannot be the only source of joy and fulfillment for your children. Accept that we cannot control them. Accept that, no matter what other moms tell you about letting your kid cry (sometimes.... I don't mean the screaming all day, or leaving a new baby for hours in the night, I can't handle that shit) that at times, there is nothing else. Your tank is empty, your magic bag of tricks is depleted, and you just don't have the answer. Let the kid cry- because if you try for hours on end to make him shut it, you're going to turn into that mom that you don't want to be. The yeller. The screamer. The thrower. The monster. So let it go, let the expectation that your kids will always be soothe-able- GO.
Let them make the mess. My son has this thing for ripping every book from our bookshelves. Every. freaking. day. It grates my gears, and often makes me want to explode. He doesn't even sit and look at them. The kiddo pulls them out, to stand on them, to kick them, and just to make the biggest ridiculous mess he can. When I sit to read to him, he just closes my fingers in the books, um.... OUCH. Bedtime he loves stories. Daytime, he will take THEM on an adventure, and show THOSE books who is boss. So. I'm done. Destroy my house, little people. Take out every stinkin thing you have, and be proud. Show those toys who is boss. And mom. Let. it. go. You can clean them up- and hopefully you have a partner to help you out. And heck, if your kids are big enough to help, make them.
Let them be little, like that Billy Dean song. Kids all grow and change at difference paces, let it go, and let them be the little person they are. (Of course if there are medical interventions needed, duh, do that.) My son is talking later than I'd like- but I KNOW he is fine. I can beat myself up and say that it is because I didn't read him enough stories, or I sometimes just wanted a quiet house so when it was just he and I, that is what we had. I'm still a great mom, because I taught him other things in those moments like enjoying the quiet and stillness, independent play, and exploring his world. I am so lucky to have my kids, and they're lucky to have me.
My children are loved. My children are clothed. My children are fed. My children have opportunities. My children are well cared for. I am enough, I have done enough, you are enough, and you have done enough.
We can all try to be perfect moms, or, we can accept that we're imperfect moms raising imperfect little people. And we're all going to be okay, if we'd just stop making everyone feel like we're not going to be okay.
Love to you, Mamas.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Internet Identities
So awhile ago I read an article about what to post on social media and what not to.
I'm finally going to say it.
What you say about your children matters.
What you say to your friends about them counts. What you say to your other children about them matters. What you say to your parents, to your neighbors. What you say online about your kids, matters.
We have all had that day where little Lacey ramped us up a wall and we raged about it on facebook. Ok, well maybe not everyone. You could be like my mom who uses it only to keep up and never post, and that's okay too. This is one less thing for you to worry about. But for those of us who might word vomit on facebook- I want you to pay attention.
What internet identity are you giving your children? Who are you telling people your kids are? Because I can tell you right now, I do not want to babysit half of my facebook friends' children because either A- they're a little hellian who was sent here to destroy every life possible or B- they're so perfect I won't like my own kids after I'm around them.
Yes friends. You do that. And I can do that.
You make me not like your kids, and then I feel really, REALLY badly about it... and for your kids.
And, you make me not want to be around your kids, because they're so damned near perfect how could me or mine possibly measure up?
Cut. the. shit.
Some day our kids will have online accounts and unlimited access to internet- or at least access where you won't watch literally every move they make. How will they view themselves after they read the things we have written about them? I know that day in, day out matters most, so please don't get me wrong- but these little things count, too. I won't put something on facebook that I wouldn't write in my child's baby book. And whether or not facebook is your medium of choice, it is about the habit that is the problem. Let's make our children's internet identities positive, but not perfect, silly but not mean.
But I hate these kinds of posts, don't do this. But do that. I'm not better than you, I am convicted of different things than you. And it is so apparent to my heart. The words I speak to my children matter. My daughter cannot go to sleep until I have whispered into her tiny ear, "You are my favorite girl in the whole wide world." I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I'm trying to live differently for myself. I'm trying to shut the mouth of the cynic in my head and only speak love to and about my children. (And yes... I think overly making them perfect is not love.)
So friends, I challenge you- what internet identity are your giving your kids? Where is your heart? Who do you want to set your children up to be on the internet? Moms, dads, I think it starts here- right now, who is your child to you? Make them that- to the world. (But.... let's not pretend their perfect.... k?)
I'm finally going to say it.
What you say about your children matters.
What you say to your friends about them counts. What you say to your other children about them matters. What you say to your parents, to your neighbors. What you say online about your kids, matters.
We have all had that day where little Lacey ramped us up a wall and we raged about it on facebook. Ok, well maybe not everyone. You could be like my mom who uses it only to keep up and never post, and that's okay too. This is one less thing for you to worry about. But for those of us who might word vomit on facebook- I want you to pay attention.
What internet identity are you giving your children? Who are you telling people your kids are? Because I can tell you right now, I do not want to babysit half of my facebook friends' children because either A- they're a little hellian who was sent here to destroy every life possible or B- they're so perfect I won't like my own kids after I'm around them.
Yes friends. You do that. And I can do that.
You make me not like your kids, and then I feel really, REALLY badly about it... and for your kids.
And, you make me not want to be around your kids, because they're so damned near perfect how could me or mine possibly measure up?
Cut. the. shit.
Some day our kids will have online accounts and unlimited access to internet- or at least access where you won't watch literally every move they make. How will they view themselves after they read the things we have written about them? I know that day in, day out matters most, so please don't get me wrong- but these little things count, too. I won't put something on facebook that I wouldn't write in my child's baby book. And whether or not facebook is your medium of choice, it is about the habit that is the problem. Let's make our children's internet identities positive, but not perfect, silly but not mean.
But I hate these kinds of posts, don't do this. But do that. I'm not better than you, I am convicted of different things than you. And it is so apparent to my heart. The words I speak to my children matter. My daughter cannot go to sleep until I have whispered into her tiny ear, "You are my favorite girl in the whole wide world." I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I'm trying to live differently for myself. I'm trying to shut the mouth of the cynic in my head and only speak love to and about my children. (And yes... I think overly making them perfect is not love.)
So friends, I challenge you- what internet identity are your giving your kids? Where is your heart? Who do you want to set your children up to be on the internet? Moms, dads, I think it starts here- right now, who is your child to you? Make them that- to the world. (But.... let's not pretend their perfect.... k?)
Friday, December 27, 2013
Best Christmas Gifts for Kids Under 5
When I have to purchase gifts for other kids or even my own, I get sweaty palms, my stomach usually hurts and my brow is furrowed. Pathetic? YUP. Pretty normal? Yup. It really makes me anxious to pick "just the right thing" because I feel frustrated to spend money that isn't appreciated, and I don't mean the "Thank you so much for buying my kid SOMETHING," appreciation, I mean the holy sh*t, that occupied my child's attention for at least thirty minutes-appreciation. When you have children- this is a godsend.
Here are my ideas for the best gifts so far- and yes- we are SO grateful for every gift ever given to our children, these are the ones that might be a little more hidden in stores.... or only online, or just something so freaking new those of us over 25 don't even know what it is, like a YOLO. What is a YOLO? (I kid, I get it- because I GOOGLED it. Hangs head in shame.)
So here's my deal- my kids can play with ride on toys inside our home, we have beautiful cabinets and nice floors- but we're just careful. My son is a bull in a china shop- seriously, trust me. If it can break, he already broke it. The only trick I have is to check all wheels before they come into the house- be sure they're free of stones and your floors should stay pretty nice.
So if you're looking for the best gift for a kid, maybe you'll find something here. These are just my suggestions, based on my limited experience- and I'll add to this list if I find more things, because I know you care SO MUCH.
Active Play Under $50/over $25:
- Super Skipper- 3.5 years+ active indoor or out (My 3.5 year old cannot do this how it is intended just yet- but she LOVES trying and it is hilarious to watch her play)
- Ride on Scuttlebug- walking+ active indoor (if you don't mind toys like this inside- we sure don't!) or outdoor (Our son is a large 1.5 year old and he thinks this is the best ride on toy in our home, his almost 3 year old cousin, who is smaller than him, wouldn't get off of it!)
- Play Vacuum 1 year +, Not really active, but my kids do run around with this thing like they're on a new "Supermarket Sweep" or something. It is an annoying noise, but it makes them so, so happy.
- Scooter 1 or Scooter 2 3 years +, these scooters offer different experiences to the rider, the first is for a more advanced child, while the 2 is probably better for a younger child. We don't own either of these, but my daughter is always borrowing her friends' when we're out. One is definitely on her birthday list this year for the big FOUR!
*$100 Trampoline This is the most played with toy for all kids 1.5 years and up at my home.
Active Play Under $25
- Grow With Me Rollerskates- 3 years+ indoor or outdoor play- Our daughter refused to take these off on Christmas morning. The 3 different settings that lock certain wheels truly helps teach children how to roller skate.)
- Bilibo Seat- 1.5 years +, although younger kids could enjoy this, I feel 1.5 is the youngest to really purchase this for. This toy encourages imagination- is it a turtle shell? seat? sled? bucket? chair? stool? caterpillar (when put with others)?
- Costumes- think capes, princesses, doctors, construction worker, artist...
- Stomp Rocket 3 years+ The little lady at our house gets a kick out of this in the yard with her daddy- they often misplace the arrows in neighbors yards as they play, but it just adds to the time they share together, pretty fun toy!
Quiet Play Under $50/over $25:
- Go Go Smart Wheels- 2 years-4 years (my guess), Our son is very intrigued by this toy, espeically the train that runs on its own. He loved watching it go on the track, and the older kids all helped put it together at Christmas. Although our son tends to just destroy train tracks, this held his attention for 30 minutes before we moved on to something else after breaking apart the track. I'd suggest purchasing a few more cars to make it more fun, too, but that will take you over $50.
- Ball Popper- 1 year + Although this is not really quiet, it gives mom a few minutes. My kids LOVE this toy, and I love that I can use ping pong balls after I've lost all of the ones that go with it.
Quiet Play Under $25:
- Magnetic Mosaics- 3 years+ quiet time play (My 3.5 year old loves this toy, we bring it to places she needs to sit and play quietly, I consider this educational as it is matching colors to numbers using a "legend/key." A sweet memory is now attached to this toy as we bonded with a distant 4 yr old cousin and great grandma over this the first time we met.)
- Kinetic Sand- 3 years+ quiet time play. This magical sand is so fun- and a winner at our house as it held our daughter's attention for 1.5 hours- no getting up, no fidgeting, no asking for anything. I set her up at the kitchen table with play dough toys, and she had to be pried away. No, really. She played again with it for over an hour the next day until her little brother tried to eat it, yup, that happened. *I'm intrigued by Shape It! Sand- this does not "move" as you play with it, and it can get wet and not have to dry out to be played with- might work well in an outdoor play bin.
- Barbie Shoes and a Barbie Tackle Box- 3 years +, My three year old could play for hours just taking Barbie's shoes on and off- and to get a plethora of the shoes- ow baby!
- Barbie- 3 years +, As soon as our daughter turned three, her fascination with Barbie began, and I don't mind one bit. She is creative and I hear more of what's going on in her little mind by listening to her play with her Barbies and have them talk to one another. The little sister barbies are great, too!
- Dump Truck 1 year +, Our son loves this truck. It is big enough to tote around other small toys and crash all over the house leaving walking hazards for the whole family. It seems to be built well- and I appreciate that it is USA made of recycled plastics!
- Airplane 1 year +, We wanted something that wasn't a car for our son, finally! This airplane is fine, nothing special, just different!
- Snap Together Minnie- 2.5 years + Our daughter loves to dress and undress her barbies, but sometimes I get sick of helping. This toy is just right for her, and when stored in a cute metal lunch box, it can go anywhere with us! We're temped to leave it in the car for those random trips places that aren't kid friendly. It is a very simple toy, but great for fine motor skills and allowing her imagination to soar.
- See and Spell Puzzle- 3 years + This toy has been played with over and over at our house when I need some quiet time on the phone with Comcast (duh.... that's at least a 45 minute conversation).
- Tea Set 3 years optimal, with a working tea set (we use water) a little girl can get lost playing this for hours. Her little brother might, too. And although towels better be on the stand by- it is so worth the time they share! You can even find little measuring sets, too!
- Small Markers, Twistable Crayons, and stickers! Age 2 + they all seem to love artsy stuff, and these are the best markers, crayons you can get for them! The amount of stickers stuck to my floors because I don't have long enough nails to pick them off is embarrassing. Don't judge. Again, this affords me time to throw in a load of laundry, put away a load of laundry for the love of Pete, or maybe even take a quick shower.
- Bath Toys, and more bath toys, and more bath toys 6 months+ Kids love bath time, and toys make it better- but healthy toys make it rock. Most toys grow mold inside- these can be opened and cleaned- that is so rare, people. Pay attention, don't buy sh*t for your family and friends.
- Backpack 2.5 + Every kid likes a place to put their things, backpacks are wonderful! We no longer carry diaper bags, because our kids have backpacks with what they need in them. Pottery Barn Kids, LL Bean and Lands End all have great backpacks that are wonderful quality. You can usually find these on sale $25 or under.
And that's about it... for now.... or at least what my post-Christmas-madness brain can remember.
Here are my ideas for the best gifts so far- and yes- we are SO grateful for every gift ever given to our children, these are the ones that might be a little more hidden in stores.... or only online, or just something so freaking new those of us over 25 don't even know what it is, like a YOLO. What is a YOLO? (I kid, I get it- because I GOOGLED it. Hangs head in shame.)
So here's my deal- my kids can play with ride on toys inside our home, we have beautiful cabinets and nice floors- but we're just careful. My son is a bull in a china shop- seriously, trust me. If it can break, he already broke it. The only trick I have is to check all wheels before they come into the house- be sure they're free of stones and your floors should stay pretty nice.
So if you're looking for the best gift for a kid, maybe you'll find something here. These are just my suggestions, based on my limited experience- and I'll add to this list if I find more things, because I know you care SO MUCH.
Active Play Under $50/over $25:
- Super Skipper- 3.5 years+ active indoor or out (My 3.5 year old cannot do this how it is intended just yet- but she LOVES trying and it is hilarious to watch her play)
- Ride on Scuttlebug- walking+ active indoor (if you don't mind toys like this inside- we sure don't!) or outdoor (Our son is a large 1.5 year old and he thinks this is the best ride on toy in our home, his almost 3 year old cousin, who is smaller than him, wouldn't get off of it!)
- Play Vacuum 1 year +, Not really active, but my kids do run around with this thing like they're on a new "Supermarket Sweep" or something. It is an annoying noise, but it makes them so, so happy.
- Scooter 1 or Scooter 2 3 years +, these scooters offer different experiences to the rider, the first is for a more advanced child, while the 2 is probably better for a younger child. We don't own either of these, but my daughter is always borrowing her friends' when we're out. One is definitely on her birthday list this year for the big FOUR!
*$100 Trampoline This is the most played with toy for all kids 1.5 years and up at my home.
Active Play Under $25
- Grow With Me Rollerskates- 3 years+ indoor or outdoor play- Our daughter refused to take these off on Christmas morning. The 3 different settings that lock certain wheels truly helps teach children how to roller skate.)
- Bilibo Seat- 1.5 years +, although younger kids could enjoy this, I feel 1.5 is the youngest to really purchase this for. This toy encourages imagination- is it a turtle shell? seat? sled? bucket? chair? stool? caterpillar (when put with others)?
- Costumes- think capes, princesses, doctors, construction worker, artist...
- Stomp Rocket 3 years+ The little lady at our house gets a kick out of this in the yard with her daddy- they often misplace the arrows in neighbors yards as they play, but it just adds to the time they share together, pretty fun toy!
Quiet Play Under $50/over $25:
- Go Go Smart Wheels- 2 years-4 years (my guess), Our son is very intrigued by this toy, espeically the train that runs on its own. He loved watching it go on the track, and the older kids all helped put it together at Christmas. Although our son tends to just destroy train tracks, this held his attention for 30 minutes before we moved on to something else after breaking apart the track. I'd suggest purchasing a few more cars to make it more fun, too, but that will take you over $50.
- Ball Popper- 1 year + Although this is not really quiet, it gives mom a few minutes. My kids LOVE this toy, and I love that I can use ping pong balls after I've lost all of the ones that go with it.
Quiet Play Under $25:
- Magnetic Mosaics- 3 years+ quiet time play (My 3.5 year old loves this toy, we bring it to places she needs to sit and play quietly, I consider this educational as it is matching colors to numbers using a "legend/key." A sweet memory is now attached to this toy as we bonded with a distant 4 yr old cousin and great grandma over this the first time we met.)
- Kinetic Sand- 3 years+ quiet time play. This magical sand is so fun- and a winner at our house as it held our daughter's attention for 1.5 hours- no getting up, no fidgeting, no asking for anything. I set her up at the kitchen table with play dough toys, and she had to be pried away. No, really. She played again with it for over an hour the next day until her little brother tried to eat it, yup, that happened. *I'm intrigued by Shape It! Sand- this does not "move" as you play with it, and it can get wet and not have to dry out to be played with- might work well in an outdoor play bin.
- Barbie Shoes and a Barbie Tackle Box- 3 years +, My three year old could play for hours just taking Barbie's shoes on and off- and to get a plethora of the shoes- ow baby!
- Barbie- 3 years +, As soon as our daughter turned three, her fascination with Barbie began, and I don't mind one bit. She is creative and I hear more of what's going on in her little mind by listening to her play with her Barbies and have them talk to one another. The little sister barbies are great, too!
- Dump Truck 1 year +, Our son loves this truck. It is big enough to tote around other small toys and crash all over the house leaving walking hazards for the whole family. It seems to be built well- and I appreciate that it is USA made of recycled plastics!
- Airplane 1 year +, We wanted something that wasn't a car for our son, finally! This airplane is fine, nothing special, just different!
- Snap Together Minnie- 2.5 years + Our daughter loves to dress and undress her barbies, but sometimes I get sick of helping. This toy is just right for her, and when stored in a cute metal lunch box, it can go anywhere with us! We're temped to leave it in the car for those random trips places that aren't kid friendly. It is a very simple toy, but great for fine motor skills and allowing her imagination to soar.
- See and Spell Puzzle- 3 years + This toy has been played with over and over at our house when I need some quiet time on the phone with Comcast (duh.... that's at least a 45 minute conversation).
- Tea Set 3 years optimal, with a working tea set (we use water) a little girl can get lost playing this for hours. Her little brother might, too. And although towels better be on the stand by- it is so worth the time they share! You can even find little measuring sets, too!
- Small Markers, Twistable Crayons, and stickers! Age 2 + they all seem to love artsy stuff, and these are the best markers, crayons you can get for them! The amount of stickers stuck to my floors because I don't have long enough nails to pick them off is embarrassing. Don't judge. Again, this affords me time to throw in a load of laundry, put away a load of laundry for the love of Pete, or maybe even take a quick shower.
- Bath Toys, and more bath toys, and more bath toys 6 months+ Kids love bath time, and toys make it better- but healthy toys make it rock. Most toys grow mold inside- these can be opened and cleaned- that is so rare, people. Pay attention, don't buy sh*t for your family and friends.
- Backpack 2.5 + Every kid likes a place to put their things, backpacks are wonderful! We no longer carry diaper bags, because our kids have backpacks with what they need in them. Pottery Barn Kids, LL Bean and Lands End all have great backpacks that are wonderful quality. You can usually find these on sale $25 or under.
And that's about it... for now.... or at least what my post-Christmas-madness brain can remember.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Introducing Owen
Life with two is incredible. fascinating. joy filled. difficult. blessed. challenging. full. organized chaos. perfect.
Owen was born on March 4 this year, he is such a dreamy baby. And I say that meaning both in personality and the fact that the kid cannot stay awake for more than about 6 hours a day total, he is such a love. I want to be sure to document what life is like with this new little addition, because it is SO different than before he was here, but it is true, I don't remember what I used to do before he was here!
The first few weeks are clearly blurry- recovering from my second cesarean went better than planned, until I totally overdid it by walking about 3/4 mile with the kids in tow and I ripped a few stitches, whops. From what I do remember, there was lots of poop, peeing on me, peeing on the counter, peeing on clothes, shrieking at peeing, sore nipples from the most shallow latch ever (nope, not tongue tied, darn), smiles, sleepy time, snuggles, kisses and so much love. Brooke has been fabulous with Owen from the get go, I am blessed. Although she was only 20.5 months old when we brought him home, she was as gentle as a 20 month old could be, as quiet as she is capable of being (which is not quiet at all, pretty much as quiet as dropping 5 pots and pans on the floor- with lids) and mesmerized. It is still my favorite to remember mornings with Lyn. Daddy got up with her while I waited for Owen to stir, I'd listen to them sit on the potty, make breakfast and destroy my perfectly clean house. (I was a slave driver when we got home, we were NOT going to let the house get out of control so every night at bedtime, we'd clean everything to "perfection.") When Owen was finally awake for a feeding I'd walk down the hall and step on the gate, Brooke squealed with delight every day, "Baby?! Baby!" It was her Groundhog Day, every day... and I promise, she still gets just as excited, 5 weeks and 2 days later. But now, she remembers he is coming out of that bedroom at some point and searches for him if he is still sleeping when she is first awake. She loves her little brother, and I could not be happier.
Owen has been a dream- he eats, sleeps, and is up and wide awake for small portions of the day. So, adjusting to two hasn't been all that bad. There are elements that are killer- but since he is so content, it pretty much is as perfect as I think I could have imagined- and yes, I have had 2 screaming at the same time. At week 3 (when I hurt myself) I had finally felt as though I could do this, handle this, and it was definitely not "that bad." Queue ripped stitches and I fell back a week. So week 4 was really when I said to myself, "This really is working out, it is so not that bad, I can do this! I cannot wait to do this again!" Queue Jon scheduling a vasectomy, just kidding. :) I hope we have more babies- and he does too, just not this instant.
My current days are pretty crazy, but I love them so, so much! We're still doing a quiet time with Brooke in the morning and I would recommend it to anyone looking at having kids. Some days she sleeps (and I make sure it is for no more than 30 minutes) and other days she just plays in her bed or screams and sings. Either way, it allows me 1- a shower if Owen is napping, 2- a moment to clean up something she has destroyed :), 3- get a handle on one chore for the day. And that, my friends, means a successful day. Owen is awake most in the mornings and evenings, he will do about 1.5 hours of wakefulness and then nap, another hour of wakefulness and then wake only to eat and pass back out. I try to get him in his bed when he acts tired, so I am not caught holding him (or starting bad habits) and unable to care for Brooklyn the best way I can. I talk to my mom every morning while Brooke runs around the house, she is a very independent player and I have to force myself to play with her, she would be content to play all day by herself pretty much. As long as she has her snack and drink of course. We're also trying to be outside more since it has been nicer, and that is fantastic. The yard is fenced, as is the deck, so often I just open the back door and let Brooke and Harley run about on the deck. After I let Brooke up and we've done something (reading, puzzles, building with mega bloks) we start lunch and Owen is usually kind enough to let me eat a full meal. Then it is more play time before naps. I try to do one "brain" thing with Brooke a day where we build, read, or do puzzles, so no matter when we can squeeze it in, we do. Then it is nap time until just about when daddy gets home. I clean the house when Brooke naps- except for the early days when Owen decided to be awake from 115-315 (beginning of nap time, booger!) But now that he is older, he is settling down and I am getting an even better handle on the house.
Jon and I are communicating at an all time high I think, which is a beautiful thing. We are finding systems that work for having 2 kids- which are different than having one. I'm on Owen duty, he has Brooklyn. He tries to play with her outside or take her on a bike ride every day when he gets home and Owen and I rest. Now that I'm not nearly as exhausted, because yes... I'm spoiled and have been getting at least 4 hour stretches pretty much forever... and 5 hours for at least the past 2 weeks, and if my brain is remembering correctly... over 6 hours last night, I try to do a chore that is hard to do when Brooke is around. We eat dinner, Brooke gets a bath, we play and watch Big Bang Theory and read lots of stories before bed. I've missed bedtime for a long time now, which makes me sad, Owen needs to eat at bedtime almost every night, but I know I'll be in there helping again soon. :) My hands are very full, I am very busy, but my heart is more so full, and I like being busy. I think I'll write more about my systems with 2, because it is pretty great :) but I did not eat a good lunch today because I just didn't want anything, so I'm starving, and my kids will be up soon.
*This post was not entertaining in the least, but more so to be sure Owen does not feel undocumented :)*
My little OJ
Owen was born on March 4 this year, he is such a dreamy baby. And I say that meaning both in personality and the fact that the kid cannot stay awake for more than about 6 hours a day total, he is such a love. I want to be sure to document what life is like with this new little addition, because it is SO different than before he was here, but it is true, I don't remember what I used to do before he was here!
The first few weeks are clearly blurry- recovering from my second cesarean went better than planned, until I totally overdid it by walking about 3/4 mile with the kids in tow and I ripped a few stitches, whops. From what I do remember, there was lots of poop, peeing on me, peeing on the counter, peeing on clothes, shrieking at peeing, sore nipples from the most shallow latch ever (nope, not tongue tied, darn), smiles, sleepy time, snuggles, kisses and so much love. Brooke has been fabulous with Owen from the get go, I am blessed. Although she was only 20.5 months old when we brought him home, she was as gentle as a 20 month old could be, as quiet as she is capable of being (which is not quiet at all, pretty much as quiet as dropping 5 pots and pans on the floor- with lids) and mesmerized. It is still my favorite to remember mornings with Lyn. Daddy got up with her while I waited for Owen to stir, I'd listen to them sit on the potty, make breakfast and destroy my perfectly clean house. (I was a slave driver when we got home, we were NOT going to let the house get out of control so every night at bedtime, we'd clean everything to "perfection.") When Owen was finally awake for a feeding I'd walk down the hall and step on the gate, Brooke squealed with delight every day, "Baby?! Baby!" It was her Groundhog Day, every day... and I promise, she still gets just as excited, 5 weeks and 2 days later. But now, she remembers he is coming out of that bedroom at some point and searches for him if he is still sleeping when she is first awake. She loves her little brother, and I could not be happier.
Owen has been a dream- he eats, sleeps, and is up and wide awake for small portions of the day. So, adjusting to two hasn't been all that bad. There are elements that are killer- but since he is so content, it pretty much is as perfect as I think I could have imagined- and yes, I have had 2 screaming at the same time. At week 3 (when I hurt myself) I had finally felt as though I could do this, handle this, and it was definitely not "that bad." Queue ripped stitches and I fell back a week. So week 4 was really when I said to myself, "This really is working out, it is so not that bad, I can do this! I cannot wait to do this again!" Queue Jon scheduling a vasectomy, just kidding. :) I hope we have more babies- and he does too, just not this instant.
My current days are pretty crazy, but I love them so, so much! We're still doing a quiet time with Brooke in the morning and I would recommend it to anyone looking at having kids. Some days she sleeps (and I make sure it is for no more than 30 minutes) and other days she just plays in her bed or screams and sings. Either way, it allows me 1- a shower if Owen is napping, 2- a moment to clean up something she has destroyed :), 3- get a handle on one chore for the day. And that, my friends, means a successful day. Owen is awake most in the mornings and evenings, he will do about 1.5 hours of wakefulness and then nap, another hour of wakefulness and then wake only to eat and pass back out. I try to get him in his bed when he acts tired, so I am not caught holding him (or starting bad habits) and unable to care for Brooklyn the best way I can. I talk to my mom every morning while Brooke runs around the house, she is a very independent player and I have to force myself to play with her, she would be content to play all day by herself pretty much. As long as she has her snack and drink of course. We're also trying to be outside more since it has been nicer, and that is fantastic. The yard is fenced, as is the deck, so often I just open the back door and let Brooke and Harley run about on the deck. After I let Brooke up and we've done something (reading, puzzles, building with mega bloks) we start lunch and Owen is usually kind enough to let me eat a full meal. Then it is more play time before naps. I try to do one "brain" thing with Brooke a day where we build, read, or do puzzles, so no matter when we can squeeze it in, we do. Then it is nap time until just about when daddy gets home. I clean the house when Brooke naps- except for the early days when Owen decided to be awake from 115-315 (beginning of nap time, booger!) But now that he is older, he is settling down and I am getting an even better handle on the house.
Jon and I are communicating at an all time high I think, which is a beautiful thing. We are finding systems that work for having 2 kids- which are different than having one. I'm on Owen duty, he has Brooklyn. He tries to play with her outside or take her on a bike ride every day when he gets home and Owen and I rest. Now that I'm not nearly as exhausted, because yes... I'm spoiled and have been getting at least 4 hour stretches pretty much forever... and 5 hours for at least the past 2 weeks, and if my brain is remembering correctly... over 6 hours last night, I try to do a chore that is hard to do when Brooke is around. We eat dinner, Brooke gets a bath, we play and watch Big Bang Theory and read lots of stories before bed. I've missed bedtime for a long time now, which makes me sad, Owen needs to eat at bedtime almost every night, but I know I'll be in there helping again soon. :) My hands are very full, I am very busy, but my heart is more so full, and I like being busy. I think I'll write more about my systems with 2, because it is pretty great :) but I did not eat a good lunch today because I just didn't want anything, so I'm starving, and my kids will be up soon.
*This post was not entertaining in the least, but more so to be sure Owen does not feel undocumented :)*
My little OJ
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